What I wish I knew about leadership growing up

Growing up, I never saw myself as a leader.

It didn’t matter that I was the captain of my high school volleyball team, a student council representative, or the social planner of my friend group. I didn’t identify as a leader because how I led diverged from what I’d been taught leadership was. I imagined a man on a podium, in a business suit, telling others what to do. That image felt alienating—and disconnected from my own approach to leading, which focused on building consensus and ensuring my peers felt included.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was far from alone. From a young age, girls often get the message that they aren’t—and aren’t meant to be—leaders. While teachers praise boys for being direct and taking the lead, girls who do the same risk being seen as unlikable or bossy. Girls who persist despite that negative feedback may feel unwelcome in leadership roles and have to work twice as hard to succeed.

These biases don’t dissipate once girls grow up. Women who lead remain likely to be questioned for their qualifications, criticized for their appearance and demeanor, and disliked for speaking up.

The short of it? When it comes to identifying and being celebrated as a leader, the odds are significantly stacked against girls—and women.

At the same time—in fact, at this very specific moment in history—it’s never been clearer to me that we need more girls and women in leadership: in government, in the C-suite, and in our neighborhoods and communities.

Getting there won’t be easy; we won’t dismantle all of the structural barriers or biases that stand in girls’ and women’s way in a day—or even a decade. But there are tangible steps we can take right now to deepen our investment in girls as leaders.

That investment starts with creating a more expansive definition of leadership that allows girls to recognize themselves as leaders and understand that there are many ways to lead. Leadership can certainly mean making decisions and instructing others, but it can also mean starting something new, standing up for each other, or respecting and including people around us. It can mean doing many of the things that I did as a girl myself but didn’t think made me a leader.

My belief in the power of girls as leaders is why I am so excited that Lean In is now offering free one-hour online workshops based on two of the most popular sessions from our Girls curriculum. We know the value of creating a space for girls across the globe to come together, push back against limiting stereotypes, and celebrate themselves as leaders.

If you, like me, are invested in shaping a future with more women in leadership, I hope you’ll consider sharing this opportunity with the girls in your life.